


Tell Me A Lie

by rhodee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Foiled Confessions, M/M, MIT Era, POV James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Saboteur Tony, Secret Crush, Tony Stark is a Dumbass, because how dare the love of his life ask someone else out. not allowed, that needs to be a tag. i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhodee/pseuds/rhodee
Summary: “Cute?” Tony repeated, very obviously speaking over Jim. “You haven’t seen cute until you’ve seen Jimbo here in his pink hot-pants.”“Dude.”
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 86
Collections: you can tell everybody this is your song





	Tell Me A Lie

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know what this is except a pathetic attempt to cure my writers block, but! a lot of rhodey+tony banter so hopefully that makes up for all the awkwardness, heh  
> also. you know what. on second thought, this is _allowed_ to be awkward. they're teenagers. they're idiots. mit students with no braincells.

It was when Tony introduced Jim as ‘Captain Rhodey’ to the drop-dead gorgeous senior that he realized he made a mistake telling Tony about the Air Force. Especially - _especially –_ when it just costed him a good first impression on the senior he's been crushing on for over two weeks now.

“Sorry about him, he was dropped as a child,” Jim said, catching Tony’s scowl as he managed an apologetic smile towards the senior – Betty Woods, whose last name Tony had made several indecent jokes on since he first told Tony about her. “I’m Jim.” 

“Jim, James, Rhodey, Rhodes – what are names anyway, right?" Tony butted in. 

She laughed, even if what Tony said wasn't remotely _funny_ , but one look at her face and it wasn’t hard to figure out that it was all about getting in the good graces of the sole Stark heir. A quick recalculation, and Jim had about 20% of a chance compared to Tony at that point. 

Tony basked in the few seconds of attention before Betty turned towards to Jim, sticking her hand out for Jim to shake. “Betty. It’s nice to meet you." 

"Rhodey's gonna serve the nation,” Tony interrupted again – god forbid someone takes their eyes off of him. “A real patriot. We're very proud." 

She raised an interested brow. "Oh?" 

"Ignore him," Jim said, which obviously went ignored once Tony started speaking again. 

"Only because he doesn't want you to know that his whole macho thing is a façade. Gumdrop’s a big softie. Loves cuddling. Insists on being the little spoon and I mean, honestly–” Tony moved, throwing a hand around Jim’s shoulder and pulling them closer, if only to enhance their height difference. “–you'd think with my height _I'd_ be the little spoon.” 

“He’s lying,” Jim pointed out immediately, because of _course_ Betty didn’t know Tony’s tell – probably didn’t even _notice_ the minuscule flare of his nostrils – and therefore, wouldn’t know that it’s _Tony_ who insists on being the little spoon. 

Betty laughed, amused eyes switching back and forth between the pair of them. “That’s actually kinda cute.” 

“It’s really not.” By then, Jim had resorted to avoiding looking Betty in the eye. Maybe if he looked at the ground long enough, it would swallow him whole. 

“Cute?” Tony repeated, very obviously speaking over Jim. “You haven’t seen cute until you’ve seen Jimbo here in his pink hot-pants.” 

“ _Dude._ ” 

“No, no. You’re right,” Tony agreed thoughtfully, which was suspicious at best. Jim was proven right not even a second later. “You look more like a sexy Greek God.” 

Betty laughed again, and Jim was way past crushing on her to just feeling sorry for her having to laugh at whatever’s Tony saying. 

“Like I said,” Jim pointed out dryly, a barely recognizable attempt to deviate the topic. “Dropped as a child.” 

“Nah, he’s just being modest,” Tony said, patting the shoulder that his hand was stretched around. “He loves being praised. Don’t you, sweetums?” 

“I’m not answering that.” 

It took Jim several tries to finally end the conversation, subtly pinching the soft skin over Tony’s hip until the brunet finally ceased his chattering and glared at Jim while muttering something about overdue assignments – which was always their go-to excuse to slip out of conversations. 

“What the hell, Tones?” Jim hissed as soon as they were out of earshot, smacking away Tony’s hand that was still loose around Jim’s shoulder. Tony’s lips parted in offense, clearly about to sprout out some kind of defense, but Jim beat him to it. “ _No–_ You did that on purpose!” 

“On _purpose?_ ” Tony very nearly screeched, turning a few heads their way from where they had stopped smack middle in the hallway. _“_ I would _never_ call you a sexy Greek God on purpose _,_ that’s insulting to _me!”_

“You told her I’m the little spoon!” 

“Girls dig that!” 

“And now she thinks we’re dating! _God,_ Tony.” 

“Hey–” Tony started. Stopped, and then frowned. “Wait. Would that be so bad?” 

Jim stared for a long second. “Uh, _yeah._ The plan was that I could _ask her out_ , not make it seem like you’re in _love_ with me.” 

“Of course I’m not,” Tony huffed, nostrils flaring and scowling like the thought actually bothered him which– _ouch_. 

“Yeah, obviously _I_ know–” Jim stopped when Tony’s nostril flare registered. “–that. What.” 

Tony blinked at him, caught off guard. “What?” 

“Oh my god.” 

“ _What?”_ Tony repeated, still scowling. 

“You’re in love with me.” 

“ _What?!”_ Nostril flare. “No. _No.”_

“Holy shit.”

“I am _not_ in love with you. That’s– First of all, that’s _ridiculous,_ ” Tony argued, all flared nostrils and reddened cheeks that would have looked like anger to anybody else passing by. Except, _god,_ Jim knew Tony like the back of his hand, _knew_ when he got flustered and the way he'd lose his train of thought at the speed of light. Knew the way Tony looked like when he wracked his brain for possible defenses, and it was exactly the way Tony was looking right now. 

“And?” Jim prodded, maybe enjoying it a little too much after the way Tony embarrassed him not even minutes ago. 

“And what?” Tony snapped, completely having forgotten that he ended the list with the first one. 

“Second of all?” 

_"Second of all,"_ Tony emphasized, dragging out the words to conjure his thoughts before he finally settled on: "You know what, I don’t need to explain myself to you.” And before Jim could get another question thrown at him, marched away. 

Tony didn’t even greet him when Jim walked into their room, face stubbornly hidden behind one of their textbooks. 

“You have a tell, you know.” 

“I don’t,” came the immediate answer. The book lowered a second later, narrowed eyes peering out from above it. “What is it?” 

“Kinda defeats the purpose if I tell you,” Jim shrugged, moving over to sit at the edge of Tony’s bed. “C’mon, test me. Tell me a lie.” 

Tony stared some more, slitted eyes and all. And then: “I have a custom made T-shirt that says Starkonium.” 

“Lie. Though, it kinda does sound like something you’d do.” 

“I can play the banjo.” 

“Truth. And that’s weird.” 

“When I was ten–”

“Lie.” 

Tony blinked. Blinked again. “No fuckin’ way. Rhodey,” he said, and then his whole demeanor changed. Tony dropped his book, crawling on all fours to where Jim was perched at the edge of his bed. “ _Rhodey._ You can’t– You gotta tell me, Honeypuff. I’m gonna be a _businessman._ I can’t have a _tell_ , it’s not good for _business._ ” 

There’s a pause where they just stare at each other, Jim looking more smug with every passing second, and Tony more frustrated. “Okay, you know what? I’m _seventeen._ I’m allowed to have a crush every once in a while, so _sue me._ I didn’t make fun of you and Betty, so I think–”

“On the contrary–”

“–this whole intervention is a little _unfair.”_ Tony sucked in a breath. _“_ A _lot_ unfair.” 

Jim shot him an amused look, tilting his head just so. “Are you done?” 

“Depends,” Tony answered, mirroring the head tilt. “Are you?” 

“You flare your nostrils, Tony.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is also part of my newly initiated 'how abrupt can my ending be' challenge


End file.
